thoughts pouring

So, these were some of my thoughts pouring – not about computer or pregnancy this time.

“For all who consent to a long process of maturation, little by little their inner self is built up, without their knowing how.”

An early feedback somewhat altered my momentum. A fellow MT used the wrong template and “damay na gabos”. She has been apologetic including to myself. Grrr, I have downloaded her first set of files and I had two files bearing a different signature line for a different dictator. We could not afford to make this kind of obvious mistake. Always trust your inner self, Luna. Speed won’t justify a 100% quality. Well, I still believe that life is not a competition. So, she will be doing the shorter one which would mean lesser lines. I know we are always beating the TAT but it would be the kind of transcript free of errors that would matter at the end of the day. Frequently during the day I ask regarding my work pace; so permissible without further interruptions. Whenever holiday is expected, days prior to it, there is overflow in the amount of tasks assigned to us.

As of yesterday, the Commission on Elections (Comelec) has accepted 28 presidential candidates for the 2010 elections, two vice presidents and 17 senators. Formal filing of candidacy was moved today locally instead of November 30, 2010. It is another Philippine holiday, which coincides again with my no work day. Dad will be filing alone today. I wish I could stop him from doing so. It is not about winning or losing. “Magluhod kaya ko baka lamang magdangog”. But it seems I can’t do anything about it.

It is just like when Alyssa received her Ipod Nano as her 11th birthday present two days ago. It’s a music player obviously, bundled with a video camera, FM tuner, and a voice over. I hate arguing when you knew even from the start you’ve presented your view, nothing will change another’s mind. There is no point of doing it, anyway. Maybe I need to take that online arguing style test; maybe I am using an outdated style. So my role again is to set rules. I’ll be Ms. Laguardia who will be screening all her playlists.

I have always wanted to become a teacher. My parents both finished teaching course but did not pursue teaching career. Sabi ninda, “maluya man maging teacher, Gay.” But how about the so-called passion?, “Gusto ko man palan maging teacher”. But obediently, I took their advice. I told myself I can still study after I have finished the course they wanted me to finish. Sometimes we think of what ifs, what could have done, what could have become, and forget of what we could do about the present situation, and this I do not consider a neglect which has cumulative effect. I am not looking back focusing on a dim-witted step (wasn’t good arguing since then). I still have that role to partake. There is a call for me to continue educating my two loving kids and work towards what I know to be right – that is, promoting self-esteem and preparing them to be independent, loving, confident, and God-fearing individuals. I hope they will be able to see a society in which there is that thrust to serve for the privilege of one another; a society that stands for justice and righteousness. So, I am a teacher, still.


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