Finally, Ligaya and I had a brief chat- brief because I forced her to catch some sleep. It was 4 am her time and an 8-am teaching work awaits her. She couldn’t take my call as she might awaken her roommate up. I thought I could make her read my letter (giggles) but her intro made me change my mind. Her mom was asking her to come home with a baby even without a husband (what a silly idea!); I think begged was the appropriate word. I can imagine her mother talking on the phone (lol). I am close to her mom, a very strict woman who has an obsessive compulsive type of personality (admitted by my friend), but that does not diminishes my appreciation of her being Joy’s mom. Her mom is so proud of her. It was from her sacrifices educating preschool children for four years in Mozambique, hardships dealing with autistic children in UAE that gave her mom a comfy and cozy dwelling place to live in.
She asked me not to ever mention to her mom that we did talk about it, that her wish would not be granted…not for the next two years. I assured her and named names from high school who are still single. In my list of single ladies who find themselves contained in a somewhat disheartening situation, I’d put her on top of it. Is that really disheartening?
Now, I am minding my girlfriend’s life by putting our discussion in this post (lol), but what she really needed was someone who could listen and absorb her crazy ideas at dawn.
So, most of my closest girlfriends are miles away, that when I want a chum to call and confide in, most of the time, there is no one around. And then I realized as a mature friend seeker, my vulnerability risk is still low, and still that have confidence to choose and make friends who can be best cheerleaders.
Here is my own list of how to be a better friend:
- Cherish the precious old friends.
- Boost their strengths.
- Accept their flaws.
- Believe in their capacity to grow.
- Listen attentively.
- Don’t give advice unless it is called or asked for.
Be figuring out what’s next in the list.